We were invited to the annual fondue party next door in which most of the neighbors are invited: Jack and Dianne, Bobby and Jackie, our new neighbors Melanie and Craig, quiet Kaye and Sandy and Maria. We all brought our kids—it was a full house. I can’t say that I’m much of a fondue person after my traumatic experience with a bread bowl-spinach dip a few years back(Superbowl 38 party; preparer of the bread bowl with dip just played with her 80 pound drooling boxer, smoked a cigarette then proceeded with hand shaping the bowl while tasting the mix—her husband came in behind her and commenced with a double dip of his fingers…I vomited.) and I definitely have a problem with community sharing when it comes to dipping items, but the fondue was freakishly first-rate and I found myself dipping beef cubes! Surely it was due to the fact that we were all plunging into a vat of boiling oil…easing my germaphobic tendencies. The children all played together; some nicely, the others, not so nice…the edit button in some kids isn’t a fully developed feature. It was at Heath’s and April’s dinner party that I discovered we live on murderers’ row. First it was Jake and Natalie with their landlords the slip the party girl a Mickey and push her off the balcony duo, and now Jackie’s family tree has come into question. Apparently Jackie’s grandma, after years of abuse from her alcoholic husband, sewed him to the bed while he was sleeping and beat him with a baseball bat. She took a break to have a glass of crown royal then blew his face off with his own shotgun. The incident was deemed a justifiable homicide. Hey Bobby! I hear that your wife is a better shot than you and she can sew.
Side note: the Culdesac covenant, you know who you are, likes menthol.
The evening came to a close when Sandy won the aluminum foil toss—I’m not sure how Jack missed every shot, it must have been the cleavage. The house across the street has had no activity for several months now. I wonder if we will be adding another to the M list.
Love fondue! And the sewing the husband into the sheets was hysterical!